Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
