ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
