So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
