I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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