somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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