Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
