I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
