Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
