great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
