So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm really busy with my period
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
