What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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