Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
These tits shall not be calmed
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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