Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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