I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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