Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
