Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize