Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
