I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
