Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
