so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
