So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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