i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
