I murdered the dance floor call the cops
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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