The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This is classic penis vs brain.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
