I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
