yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
