We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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