Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize