Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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