Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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