I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
