i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
