There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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