oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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