just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
