I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
