The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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