Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
