I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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