Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
