Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
