I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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