You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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