Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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