dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize