So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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