I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
