Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
