FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize