we have officially lost it.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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