I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
