My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
