I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
