all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
