btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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