drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just had sex on a roof
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
