my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
