Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
