I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
