Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
