he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
