I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
