She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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