Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize