Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
