I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize
