I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
