So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
