i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i would punch a child for taco bell
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
