Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
