Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize