My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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