Pappa wants mamma naked
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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