Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Found your dick twin last night
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
