i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
