actually, I'm a sock model
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You're a waste of cheezeits
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
