spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
