I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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